Tuesday, April 27, 2010

So now it's April 2010 and my husband and I have worked very hard at trying to make our relationship work and I am happy to say it's working. He finally admitted to me that he feels lost and he doesn't know what direction to take. He has quit his job and age wise he is close to 50 and I think it's his "mid life crises" time.

So that is the Cole's notes about how I arrived at this point in my life. Why I decided to open up a boutiques, developed a cream line, become a better wife and balancing work with all my relationships. Speaking of, the relationships in my life believe it or not are a lot like the retail industry. Stay tuned.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Now let's step back to January 2010 when my husband I are talking separation. We are sitting on the couch having a drink and casually talking about how we have grown apart. We never fight, we sometimes argue, we are always together and it has been that way for the last 13 years. We even worked together so no wonder we were tired of each other. As we were talking about our relationship it dawned on me or I had what I call a "AH HA moment". We were treating each other just like how I treat my customers. We were polite, respectful and would make small chit chat through-out the day. I would be so exhausted when I arrived home that I had nothing to offer my husband and because he worked from home, he would be ready to engage in conversation with me. However n0w i am home and the business woman hat is taken off and the mom hat goes on. I have 45 minutes to cook dinner, spend time with my sons and be a wife until all the nighttime duties kick in. "Would you like me to gift wrap your dinner sir"?

Friday, April 16, 2010

Marriage is a funny thing. It was created based on that most ancient societies needed a secure environment for the perpetuation of the species, a system of rules to handle the granting of property rights, and protection of bloodlines. The institution of marriage handled these needs. So why did mine breakdown. In all honesty it was because when I became a mother I changed. I went from a free spirited relaxed women to having 2 children in 2 1/2 years, suffered from mild postpartum, moved countries, stopped my selfish life for awhile. and the clincher...lost my sex drive. So the result; my husband didn't like me. So speed up 8 years and constantly changing as my children were getting older and just changing with age I "out grew" my husband. Does this sound familiar?

Friday, April 9, 2010

Here's the "Cole's" version of my marriage background.
When I first met my husband I was 27. My mother had just passed away, I had ended a 3 year relationship was drinking a lot and moved countries. I was in no form to get involved in another relationship. I was a personal trainer for a health club in Bermuda and was working with individuals who had major health and self esteem issues. Exhausting to say the least. Met my husband 1 month in, moved in with him 6 months later, married when I turned 30, got pregnant at 33 moved back to Calgary, second child at 35, opened my boutique in Bragg Creek at age 39, developed a cream line at age 40 and now I am turning 41 and somewhere in the chaos my marriage has broken down. Go figure.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

I started this blog solely to vent about the difficulties in my marriage in relationship to opening the store. After wondering how much I should personally share, I came to the conclusion that because so many women are experiencing the same issues in regards to relationships that I am going to share my journey in hopes that some of you can relate or comment or even give advice. Writing in this blog will become my form of cheap therapy. Because lets be realistic here, I don't have the time to physically go to therapy, so this my couch.